Maybe you’ve heard it before: We create our own luck.
Personally, I don’t believe in luck. But, I do believe that there’s something to creating our own circumstances.
For a long time, just shy of a year and a half to be exact, I stayed sober. I did the deal: I went to the meetings. I wrote in the journals. I called friends and family when I felt crazy. I got pedicures. I took long walks. I started eating right. I quit smoking. Blah. Blah. Blah. The list goes on.
I was miserable.
I discovered that time in sobriety wasn’t the key to unlocking my joy. And, it bummed me the fuck out.
I left a 12-Step meeting one night after a horrible day, and I decided it just wasn’t worth it. What was the point of being sober if I always felt like shit? And, then and there, I decided to head to the bar. I figured I would stop and pick up a pack of smokes en route. I mean, why not ruin all my hard work in one fell swoop?! Right?!
As I pulled into the convenience store parking lot on my way to the bar, I realized something:
Nothing external, not a cigarette or a drink (or ten!) was going to fill the hole I had in my heart. I felt the weight of that truth more than I had felt the weight of anything else in my life, ever.
I knew whatever it was I was looking for was INSIDE ME and I had to be the one to go in there and find it.
So, instead of going into that convenience store, I got back in the car and drove home. And, that night, I decided that I was going to be happy. I had to do it — or I’d be drunk. And that just wasn’t an option anymore.
Since that moment in the convenience store parking lot, I face everything with a positive attitude. My life has completely changed. It’s begun to flourish in ways I never dreamed possible for me. I created my joy from the seed of my pain. Explain that one…I sure can’t!
It’s not easy. I’ve been through some hard, even devastating shit, since my foray into happiness. And, I have to wake up and choose daily. Sometimes that choice is uncomfortable. I still make it.
The more I choose to be happy, the more I choose to let go of the past and all the limiting beliefs I have about myself, the easier it becomes…and life gets beautiful. That’s a promise.
Give it a try. What’s the worst that could happen?
How will you choose happiness today? Take some action! Leave a note in the comments. I want to hear your story.
Stay saucy (and happy),